Pornography Addiction Among Muslims (Stories & Tips)Updated: Formatting/links fixed. Online porn addiction is a serious problem, not just for Muslims. See this article: Two in five Internet users visited an online adult site in August 2. December of 2. 00.

The previous post on “The Secret Life of Husbands“, part of MM’s “Sex & the Muslim Ummah” series, was sort of a milestone post. It elicited powerful responses, and led to some of the most beneficial discussions on MM. I am happy to see that the series has also spurred off discussions on other blogs in this area. The value of the comments was not just limited to hearing from those who were personally experiencing these problems, including the “recovering” or the “recovered”, but more importantly, the thread likely provided a glimpse of hope and practical suggestions for the silent majority of other addicts. I know how difficult it is to go through over 1.

I thought it would be useful to collect some of the main points and gems from the readers. This is a very large post, so it is divided into the following sections (click to jump to desired section): The Addicts: From the Husband’s Perspective. The Addicts: From the Wife’s Perspective. Advice from a “Recovering Addict”Islamic Advice. NLP/Psychological Advice.

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Other Advice. Advice from Shaykh Yasir Qadhi. A Talk with the Self by Kamal El- Mekki. In Conclusion, A Success Story with Tips. The Addicts: From the Husband’s Perspective (“Qwerty”): As someone who is experiencing this fitnah, i can authoritatively tell you that most of your comments that discuss the reasons for why people like me fell into this sin are way off mark. You don’t realize the self- loathing, and hatred a brother has for himself in his day to day life when he remembers what he does when no one is watching but Allah.

And if only it was as simple as you guys suggest. I will deliberately be vague in some of what i say so that no one finds out who i am.

And oh yes, some of you know who i am. But you don’t really know who i am. I am a brother between 2. I’ve been practising for many years. I fell into the fitnah when i was in my teens. I don’t want to go into the details, but soon after i was introduced to pornography, i was hooked on it.

What fanned the flames of desire was access to the internet. When i was new to the sin, i would never have dared to buy a dirty mag from the local store out of a sense of shame and embarrassment. But the internet made everything accessible to me, and i could see what i wanted and when i wanted, all in the privacy of my own home. Another problem was that my family resisted when i suggested that i marry in my early 2. Thus, the absence of a halal outlet for this desire is another factor that has brought me to where i am now. Have you heard the story of Barseesah? Imam Anwar al- Awlaqi mentions it in one of his CD sets.

He was a famous worshiper from Bani Israeel, who was led astray step by step by Shaitaan until his last action was to leave the religion. In some ways, my own story over the past 1. My addiction began as something small, but step by step over 1.

The first time i used a credit card on a porn site was after several years of being addicted to porn. It was like i’d crossed a threshold, stepped over an important line.

And unfortunately, having crossed that line, i haven’t looked back and have used the card numerous times since. And that is how it is with this sin. You promise yourself for a long time that you won’t cross a certain line, but then you do, and it becomes easy to repeat that sin again. But having crossed that line only once advances you to the next level of sinfulness. Download The New Logan Lucky (2017) Movie.

So you’re first mistake is looking at a woman lustfully. Then its looking at free porn sites, then its looking at pay porn sites, and so on. My advice to those who are in the early steps of this sin is to never give into the temptation to “go to the next level.” If you admire pretty girls, thats bad, but not as bad as searching for porn on the web.

Its a slippery slope that ends with you in a place where a Muslim shouldn’t be. So why haven’t i sought help?

Dear reader, what haven’t i tried to give up this addiction? Reciting Qur’an, going to talks, activism, du’a, all of that and more. I’ve prayed those prayers in the middle of the night when i thought to myself, “man, i wish i could pray with that much khushoo’ in every salaah” and i made salaam and thought i’d never return to that sin, but then a week, or two weeks later, i was back at it. But let this next event sum it up for you: me standing in Mecca asking Allah to help me stop committing this sin, asking Allah to kind of like flick off a switch and just bring it to a stop, because i am mentally fatigued by the daily battle inside me between my shameful desires and my Muslim conscience, and i just want it to stop but its proving too difficult right now. Knowing that i am a practicing Muslim, knowing that there is a day in which i will have to stand in front of Allah and take the rap for these sins, and not having a single plausible excuse come to my mind which i can bring on that day is a horrible feeling. It feels sickening trying to make tawba for this sin, because while asking Allah to forgive me, i felt within myself (and from knowledge of past relapses) that I haven’t really given it up and would fall into it again.

That is difficult to come to terms with. Really difficult. And also the guilt that comes from leading a double- life and betraying one’s spouse. This is not how i wanted to be. I’ve seen my early zeal to learn and practise, and potential to be a productive member of this ummah fade over the years as i spent my time – hours and hours in front of the computer getting up to no good.

Some say its due to a lack of imaan, and I agree that it is, but its more complex then that. During these years in which i have sinned I have also memorized 1. Qur’an: that didn’t come easily, nor without determination, and i would bet that is more than most people who are reading this. I don’t know if that makes me a “better” porn addict than the next porn addict. But I’m certainly with those who are unhappy and want out as opposed to those who just don’t give a damn. As to solutions, i don’t know. I personally think that it is nigh- on impossible to give it up here in the West once you’re addicted because sex and pretty women are all around you, on the TV, in the streets, at work – everywhere.

Sisters, your husbands go to work and there are pretty women all around. Don’t let it be the case too often that he comes homes to find you wearing some lame tracksuit bottoms and a T- shirt – or worse your pajamas. What about taking another wife? I wouldn’t dismiss that as quickly as some do. What pornography offers is variety: black, white, fat, thin, tall, short, all sorts.

Perhaps having a second wife might satisfy a brother’s need for variety. Perhaps not – i can’t say for sure. What else works? Its a day to day struggle. One day its an ayah, another day its a hadith.

Another day its a talk. Another day its because you met a good brother. Sometimes the boost in imaan from these things keeps you off the sin for a month, other times, only a few days. The most helpful solution overall i found was going cold turkey with the internet: cutting it off completely. It severely restricted my access to pornography, and though the addiction didn’t cut off completely, it was definitely a practical step in the right direction. If you can make a quiet du’a for Allah to switch off my addiction just as quickly as the light goes off when you flick the switch i would be most grateful. The one thing that keeps the struggle within me alive: Say: “O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls!

Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins” . First and worst of all, is the lying and deceit. I never, ever used to lie before, but after this addiction caught hold, lying became habitual as i concocted story after story to cover my tracks: why was i on the computer for so long last night?